Content Warning: Mental Illness & Suicide

Imma try to hold out till August 16 If life doesn’t get better by then I’m gonna do it Fr I can’t keep going on like this I hate work, I hate living, I hate struggle, I hate this depression and nihilism, I just want the pain of existence to stop I’m sorry family and friends , all the money and years spent trying to set me up for a good life, y’all did the best you could But this fundamental issue, I don’t think there’s an answer for me I think this is just how life is always gonna be Its so painful to even do the basic tasks like fill out forms or wake up knowing that my entire day will be filled with pointless bland work If that’s all life is gonna be, just for a few hours every few months of distractions with others, id rather clock out now I’m gonna die a sad, miserable, virgin, loser, alone with my thoughts, trapped in my own head The house is shut, locked, and they key either doesn’t exist, or is outside the house And nobody’s gonna give it to me From this day forward, I no longer have any hope left in me, I am officially a dead man walking My time is short, and I have made peace with that Unless some radical miracle takes place, I truly think there is no hope for me All options have been exhausted I desperately need help 😞

At this pace, Imma write a note soon- I have to wake up in 3 hours and I’m gonna hate every second of it

If anyone is reading this, and you actually care, this is a warning. If you know of any actual solutions that can help me, please tell me. I don’t wanna hear dumb shit like “call the suicide hotline” or “get therapy” or “just wait, it’ll get better, the pain is temporary, life will improve”, I’ve already tried all that, at least twice. I mean genuine answers.

Truly, if nothing gets better, and FAST, then I have 114 days in counting.